CedEx
by Unconscious Again
Summary: "So, what does it stand for?" "Isn't it obvious?" Or, in which Otabek is stubborn, Yuri glowers, and Victor receives many, many injuries. (They're worth it, though.) Otayuri if you squint, though it's mostly just Victor poking fun at his young counterpart. K plus for a grand total of two (mild) swear words.


**Greetings Earthlings! And thus marks my entry into the YOI fandom (or writing for it, at least). Even though it's pretty short, this was really fun to write. The idea literally came to me when I was rewatching the show and saw how they changed FedEx to CedEx, which got me thinking "What would CedEx stand for, anyways?".**

 **Warning: Spoilers for episode ten? I guess? If you're reading this and you don't know who Otabek is, go finish the series, than come back.**

 **Disclaimer: I can wish; I can dream; I can–I dunno, guys–scream(?); nothing will change the fact that I have no ownership over anything/anyone in the Yuri! On Ice franchise.**

 **And on that note: enjoy!**

 **:::**

Otabek stared at Yuri for a moment, before his eyes began to gleam with the slightest hint of a smile. "That's ridiculous," he decided.

The blond crossed his arms in annoyance. "Like yours is any better."

There was a moment of silence, and Yuri could swear his friend was smirking at him. Bastard.

"Mine is better," the Kazakh replied, amusement clear on his face, "because it's correct."

Yuri scowled.

Otabek shrugged.

Yuri glared.

Otabek examined a nearby wall.

Yuri moved forwards, glower firmly in place–

"Yurio!"

Victor stood in the doorway, lounging against the frame of the door. Walking casually into the room, the elder Russian paused, tapping a finger against his lips. "Am I interrupting something?"

Yuri retreated in a slouch. "No. Beka's just being stubborn."

Otabek shared an exasperated look with Victor, as if to say _What can you do?_.

The silver haired man strolled over to his young counterpart, putting his arm around Yuri's shoulders; staying doggedly in place when the teen tried to shake him off. "So," Victor muttered in too loud a voice to be entirely conspiratorial, "why's Otabek being stubborn?"

Yuri rolled his eyes. "He thinks that what I'm saying–which is _right_ , by the way–is wrong."

One condescending pat of Yuri's shoulder later and Victor was cradling his smarting arm, which was sure to bruise later from the strength with which the blond had punched it.

Quickly recovering from his... er... injury, the eldest male's lips turned up in a half-smirk. "And what exactly _were_ you two having your lover's spat over?"

Otabek choked on air. Yuri turned an impressive shade of red.

'Worth it,' Victor decided as he nursed his ringing ears, still recovering from the five minute long _First of all, we're not dating. Second of all, shut up, you pompous ass. And third of all, even if we were dating, how the hell is that your business?_ tirade the blond had screeched at him.

"But really," the silver haired man chirped, waving a hand airily, "what were you two squabbling about?"

Noticing that Yuri was still... attempting to collect himself, Otabek decided it was a fit time to contribute to the conversation. "You know CedEx?" he asked.

Victor's eyebrows knitted in confusion. "The shipping company?"

Otabek nodded. "You know what the 'Ced' in it stands for?"

Victor nodded. "Uh huh."

There was a diplomatic pause as the Kazakh tried to figure out his next sentence. "Yura... doesn't."

Ignoring the elder Russian mouthing the words _So it's_ Yura _now?_ , the blond scowled. " _I_ do. You're the one who doesn't know!"

Otabek raised an eyebrow, then turned to Victor. "Tell him what it is," he prompted. "Maybe he'll listen to you."

The silver haired man shrugged. "Cedar Express." The Kazakh glanced to his friend. _See? I was right._ Yuri glowered right back. "Fine. Whatever. Anywa–"

"No, no; now I'm curious," Victor interrupted, slipping one hand into his pocket to press a button on his phone. "What did you think it was?"

Yuri shot him a death glare and refused to answer. Victor smiled breezily.

Finally, Otabek broke the silence. "Celestial Express."

"Sorry, what?"

"Yura. He thought it stood for Celestial Express."

Victor paused for a moment. Then he burst into laughter.

Pulling out his phone, the elder Russian announced, "And there you have it! Yurio apparently doesn't know what CedEx stands for." Stopping the recording, Victor neatly sidestepped his younger counterpart as the teen lunged for the offending device. "Hmm..." the silver haired man muttered, selecting the recording from his camera roll on Instagram and frowning thoughtfully when he was prompted to type out a caption (all the while avoiding Yuri's furious swipes). "What should I write?"

Brightening, his fingers began to dance across the keyboard, and a moment later the video had been posted. "There we go!"

Yuri _growled_.

 **:::**

 **v-nikiforov**

[Video]

 **1021** likes

 **v-nikiforov** Isn't Yurio precious? #funny #withmyson #otayuri otabek-altin yuri-plisetsky

View all 104 comments

 **phichit+chu** HAHAHA OMG GOTTA SHOW THIS TO YUURI

 **yuri-plisetsky** ASKHFJBD SKDJNLCIO IM GONNA KILL YOU

 **otabek-altin** v-nikiforov I'll try and calm him down, but I would recommend you hide

1 day ago

 **:::**

 **And there you have it! I might add another chapter, but for now this is complete. Would you like me to write Otabek's futile attempts to prevent a homicide? Let me know in the comments!**

 **See ya!**

 **-Unconscious Again**


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